Saturday, May 12, 2012

Something I needed to say

Hello there.

Well, as you can see for yourself, or rather, as you haven't seen for yourself, my absolutely fickle dedication to getting you all caught up on my life here in Spain and surrounding areas has failed miserably and most of you, unless you've contacted me by some other means, have not a clue what has happened to me since my birthday over 5 months ago... that's more than half of the time that I've actually spent here. My sincerest and much-too-often-relayed apologies. Someday, you will hear all the stories between then and now. 

Mine should go to 4... or maybe 11. [source]
As for now, however, I have some other things on my mind. Within the last two weeks, my life here has gone through quite a few changes, the biggest of which is this: I have moved from Logroño to Calahorra. For those of you not in the know, Logroño is the capital of (and biggest city in) my region of La Rioja. Calahorra, while the second biggest, has about 120,000 less people. It is where I teach, but I'm sure you can imagine why I chose to live where I did at the start: more transportation options, more nightlife, more people... just more period. Anyway, without going into all of the details, I had my reasons for making the move. The most immediate of which was a very uncomfortable roommate situation that made what should've been my home feel more like a place where I needed to tiptoe around without leaving a trace. If you want more information, ask. The other reason was that I've started dating someone who lives in Calahorra, and as I'm sick of doing the long-distance thing, the idea of being in the same place as a person for once was extremely appealing. All of the pieces seemed to fit, I had a place to stay, the moment was right, so I made the move.

Remember this picture? Multiply this by three or four and that's how much stuff I (and two lovely souls-- shout out to Ash and Tom) had to pack up and move. How quickly it accumulates...
That was two weeks ago. After being in limbo for about a week living out of a suitcase, I finally moved in and had a home this past Tuesday. And I'm finally realizing how much of a toll having an uncomfortable home-life was taking on me. I'm also realizing how awful I've been at staying in touch I've been... with friends in Logroño, with friends back home, with family. I can't even remember the last time I talked to my brother. I think it was back when we saw each other in person at Christmastime. That is sad.

Anyway, the topic I really wanted to talk about in this entry, but from which I have digressed somewhat is my madre (that's mother for you non-Spanish speakers). 

With Mother's Day coming up tomorrow, I suppose that's only natural, but with everything that's been going on these last few months, but the last couple of weeks in particular, I have been particularly distant... much more distant than I would like to be. The worst part is that I can't help but fear that she's felt that somewhat. If you have, Mom, I am so sorry. It's a terrible excuse, but as I said before, I've been generally awful at staying in touch, even with my best friend.

In honor of tomorrow, I was looking for a good quotation for the occasion and I stumbled upon this gem:

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."  Washington Irving
Now, I know that unfortunately not everyone can say this is true for them, and that reminds me all the more of how fortunate I am to have been blessed with the woman whom I call Mom. It also makes me feel foolish for not remembering what this quote says on my own: when I'm feeling a little grey, the way I happen to feel now, one conversation and I almost instantly feel weight lifting off my shoulders... 'dark clouds dissipating' and 'peace in my heart.' She reminds me that I'm always my own worst critic, that I put way too much pressure on myself, that I can accomplish anything I set my mind and my heart to. She's known me longer than anyone, even myself, and she is and will always be my biggest fan. And I am so lucky.

I mentioned that I'm feeling a bit grey today, and you're probably wondering now, well, why haven't you called her?! I wanted too, honest. But as I'm sitting in a café with loud music and strangers all around, that wasn't an option-- I will try her later or, if not, definitely tomorrow. This entry was my next best option... and I think it has helped cheer me up.

Now, those of you who have finished reading this and feel so moved, go call your mom, send her an email or, if she's nearby, give her a great big hug... and feel your troubles melt away, or at the very least, watch them become a little less insurmountable. Tell her you love her.

Love you, Madre. :)
A day early :)

1 comment:

  1. I love you, too...and miss you SOOOOOOO much!!!